I am so excited to share an important blog on how men can connect more with women from my friend, relationship coach, Karen Brody: 

I wish more men understood how easy it is to open a woman with the right words. 

A lot of the heavy lifting you do as a man to try and compensate for feeling lackluster in the communication department could greatly be reduced if you´d only learn how to use words well. 

Thing is… you´ve got to understand the words and phrases, and energy behind

them, that women respond to. 

Trust me, they´re a lot simpler than you think, and they´re orgasmic!

You might be asking, if they´re so easy, then why is it so hard to get right? Why is it that so many attempts to open a woman with words blow up and make her more upset than when you started?

Without going into all of the reasons why this happens, which could populate a novel, let´s just say that if you understand the interpretations she makes when she gets upset, you can operate to make things better, quickly, with a lot more finesse. 

First, you have to know and embrace three things about a woman and her upset. These are simple and need to be put to memory. 

She is almost always feeling one of these three things when she´s upset:

  1. Not loved
  2. Not safe 
  3. Not connected to you

Now, there are a variety of specific reasons for her upset that correspond to each of these categories, but the bottom line is that they relate to the above three. 

If you didn´t do what you said you would, it triggers she doesn´t feel safe with you. 

If you don´t appreciate who she is and what she brings to your life, it triggers she doesn´t feel loved by you. 

If your attention is weak and unfocused it triggers she doesn´t feel connected to you. 

Your opportunity is to help her feel one of those three things — again – and to get smarter about giving her more of what actually makes her feel safe and loved with you. 

Orgasmic language invites her to empty herself of the tension and emotional turmoil she´s feeling, in the absence of these key needs being met. 

A relaxed open woman is a woman more interested in making love. 

¨Tell me what´s going on for you,¨ is one of the most powerful communication openers you can use to open her, or to help her let go when she´s upset. It´s orgasmic, for her, because it´s a big, spacious invitation to talk and to tell you what she is feeling.  

Said with love and compassion, ¨Tell me what´s going on for you¨ is immeasurably potent! 

Know that she may resist you, initially, to test how much you mean it — especially if you´re in the habit of asking her what´s going on for her and not truly giving a crap.  

You have to actually care or none of this will work. 

¨Nothing. I´m fine,¨ could be her first response to your invitation. 

Know in that moment she needs more reassurance. She needs to know that you actually want to know. Ask her again. 

¨Really, tell me what´s going on for you. I want to know. ¨ 

Present a calm, patient demeanor, but be solid and masculine.  Don’t just TRY this. Be committed. 

¨Really, do tell me. I want to hear about it. ¨

When she does open up and her communication starts to flow, and there is a pause for her to check in with you, say to her: ¨Ok, tell me more. What else? What else is going on?¨

Assume there is more and continue milk it out of her. You want the whole enchilada. 

Continue inviting her to elaborate until it is clear that she is emptied herself of her tension and upset. 

How will you know this? 

One of these things will likely happen: 

  1. She´ll smile at you like you´re magic
  2. She´ll sigh a sigh of relief
  3. She´ll thank you! 
  4. She´ll want to be held 
  5. She´ll say ¨OMG, I feel so much better!¨

With these simple (hard to get wrong) invitations, you´re laying out the red carpet for her emotions, and it will be felt and appreciated!

It´s similar to a woman saying: I´m yours. Do anything you want to me!

Let me know how this goes for you. 

If you respond to my email, I will respond to you! 

Ladies, I welcome your comments too. 

With love, 

Karen

P.S. Looking for a fantastic Valentine´s Gift? Put this into play on VT Day. Just ask her: Hey, tell me what´s been going on for you. Or, tell me how you´ve been feeling, Then, start milking for her for more! This is orgasmic for her. Seriously. 

To learn more about Karen and her work: 

http://loveandintimacycoach.com/ 

 

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