Abuse leaves us with a sense of what I call, “not good enough.” As a child, we learn to believe the adults and peers who abuse us and teach us that something is wrong with us. Why in the world would someone treat us so poorly if there wasn’t something wrong with us? And when we grow up, if we did not have good counseling or trauma intervention, we will continue the ‘story’ we learned as a child, that we are not good enough. I imagine that if you are here on this page, you are sick and tired of living with this story and it’s time to find a new one, a story of love and self-empowerment. The gift of Forgiveness can put you directly on this new path!
What I’ve learned, and can teach you from working in this field for 30 years is that pain doesn’t just go away with time, it sticks in your body and it shapes all your future relationships. If you DO want to have a healthy relationship, you must learn how to forgive.
The word leaves most of us with a deep sigh and a heavy heart. The ugly side of life. Better left concealed, hidden. Unfortunately, the numbers of people affected by abuse are just too large to ignore.
I have worked in the abuse field for over 30 years. As a family law attorney, legal advocate, group leader, volunteer coordinator and community advocate, I have witnessed this hidden side of life. What I have learned is that words hurt more than physical abuse. Yet, the system responds only to the physical abuse, leaving emotionally bruised and battered women to fend for themselves somehow.
I have personally witnessed the courage of women leaving seemingly stable, but destructive relationships, without support systems or financial backing. When they leave, they are in the most danger; for that is the time most mates explode, when they are losing control of their victim.
It’s interesting how proud we are of our men in battle, yet, they are trained and geared up for battle. Hundreds of thousands of women face combat every day with their loved ones, yet, they receive no honor, no training, and no survivor support.
Start with the Freedom from Abuse book and then call Lori for personal coaching to help you find yourself again.
“Hi, my name is Carla. I was raised with insane violence in my home with my father beating and trying to kill my mother and step mother, and my mother’s out of control rages and beating the crap out of me. I left home when I was 15, only to realize that the man I moved in with was also abusive; physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Then I moved on and married two more abusive men. The last one put me in the ER, via ambulance, and I needed an MRI to scan for brain injury and internal damage. I finally decided enough was enough. I had to get help before I ended up dead. I had to take responsibility for my own choices, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. So I did. I ended up in a class called Survivors of Domestic Abuse. We met once a week as a group in the library. In those classes we learned how to recognize the difference between being a victim to being a survivor. Everything from how we think, to our own body language. Thanks to Lori, I now know that nobody will ever lay a hand on me for the rest of my life. She gave us insight and homework assignments. She encouraged us to journal and dig deep to find our true spirit. She gave us hope and strength to encourage each other. I know that with my faith and my will to survive that I will always be O.K. I am so happy just being a single mother and living a great life without a man. I now know with every fiber of my being that I will never seek out another abuser. That being alone isn’t lonely at all, and I am never alone. Thanks to Lori I am able to seek out healthy relationships with my women friends. And most importantly that God loves me and is always with me. It has been over three years now and I can still apply everything I learned from Lori. I can never thank her enough for what she has taught me. Never again will I be in constant fear. I now live with joy, peace, love and forgiveness.”Carla G., Cottonwood, AZ